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MyTherapist New York | Relationship Counseling Blog

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Posts tagged sexologist
Tips from Bustle on improving the chemistry in your relationship

In my experience as a relationship counselor and sex therapist, chemistry means intimacy plus passion (or excitement) mixed with interest. Building intimacy is no quick task, but there are different types.  Feeling so comfortable you can fart in front of each other might be really intimate, but might not be "chemistry-building" exactly.  Romantic or sexual intimacy means having open conversations about fantasies and desires, both romantic and sexual. It also means having open conversations about all sorts of things that make you you- your ethics, your fears, your experiences, etc, and finding these things out with excited curiosity.  Let your partner talk, and actively engage.  Ask follow up questions.  Put down your phone. Building chemistry is something only you and the person/people you're building it with can do. In other words, you're trying to be really intentional with this person and getting to know them in a way that builds some tension. Liked Gaga and Bradley Cooper's performance at the Oscars? These are two people that have palpable chemistry.  They also are friends for years, ride motorcycles together, spent time making a film together, sharing their passions of acting and creating music together- SO much chemistry- and they're not even dating!

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