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Should you stay friends with your ex?

Break up’s are never easy.  You spent a great deal of time investing in another person who, at one point, you thought was your forever.  When the relationship ends, it is very common to say to one another, “Let’s stay friends”.  Some couples will try to make this work while others don’t’ even care to give it a try.  Most ask the question “is it worth it?” The answer to that question will most likely vary on each individual.  In counseling, if a client comes in and states they want to stay friends with their ex, we will discuss the reasoning behind staying friends.  It is important to understand what “being friends” means to each person as one may think it means talking every day about every detail while the other sees it as keeping in touch from time to time.  Understanding what staying friends really means is key.  Another question to explore would be if you can tolerate being just friends with a person that you once shared such intimate and important moments with.  For some people, it’s a good idea to let things cool off a bit before jumping into the friend zone. An individual who may be contemplating the question, may also want to think about what is the worst that could happen if they are no longer friends with this person.  Although extremely painful,  its important to remember that life will go on, friends or not. 

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